Dementia embodies loss. The loss of what was, what might have been, of hopes, of dreams, of companionship, of independence, and loss of mind. With loss comes grief and bereavement.

Dementia is an emotional roller coaster. No sooner do you begin to adjust and come to terms with one phase when further changes occur and feelings of grief are felt afresh.

For the carer, when the time comes, the grief associated with the loss of a parent, partner or relative to dementia starts the whole roller coaster ride again.

How people cope with grief and bereavement varies from one person to another.

A common initial reaction is shock, even if the death was expected. You may feel numb and it is best to avoid making important decisions at this time. Feelings of anger and guilt are also common, as is depression.

A feeling of relief is nothing to be guilty about. It is OK to feel relieved that the experience of dementia, often referred to as the 'living death', is finally over.

These are all normal feelings in the circumstances. They are your physical, mental and emotional reactions to extreme trauma. Allow yourself some time to get back into emotional health.